Since my thirties, I had been keeping an eye on that oh-so-dreaded gray hair making its way through my naturally brown hair. Well, I am certainly not a brunette anymore. For the past ten years, I have colored my hair a beautiful sun-kissed blonde. My hairstylist made sure that I continued to look young and fresh. She always said, “Nobody can guess how old you are with that body and hair!” After reading this, you might agree that “this will make you wish you went gray!”

Over the years, the highlights were not enough, and I also needed lowlights and then a base color as the gray kept creeping in. I am in midlife now (not that that’s a bad thing!), and when I look in the mirror, I see myself with my California girl look, but it just does not seem right anymore. I see a face that is much rounder and more mature. I debated back and forth on what to do with my hair: go gray or keep coloring. Gray hair is the trend right now, and many younger women have it.

Some articles suggested the frightening growing out process. NO WAY! That would look so washed out and – well – “gray.” Some of my friends went cold turkey and let their hair grow out until they were completely gray and looked beautiful. I could not see myself going that route.

Who knew going gray could be this glamorous?

Still, I thought I’d talk with my friend Debora Salazar Crevilla owner of 4 & Company Salon, and my stylist for 15 years, to see what she thought of the whole gray hair issue.

Heike: Do most women want to cover their gray hair when it appears?
Debora: Yes, most women begin seeing gray and immediately come into the salon to get color.

Heike: Does the quality of our hair change as it goes gray?
Debora: What happens to the hair when it goes gray is that it tends to be duller, the texture changes, and becomes more frizzy, loses elasticity and luster, and starts to become coarse.

Heike: What about the women who want to go gray? They may see the latest trend that younger women now color their hair gray.
Debora: For the woman who wants to let the gray show, it gets hard because gray is not for everyone and doesn’t compliment every skin tone.

Heike: What’s the best approach to letting the gray grow out, in your opinion?
Debora: There are a couple of different ways. Some women choose to stop cutting their hair, so they will cut it short first and then let it grow out. Some women want to heavily highlight their hair, trying to get as light as possible and then be toned with gray toner to be as close to matching their gray.

Heike: What do you think about the new trend of younger women going gray?
Deborah: I feel it’s so ironic because I always spent the day covering gray hair in my thirty years of being a hairdresser. What a change because now the new trend is young girls who want to go gray. I don’t think it’s complimentary for most skin tones, but at least young women have more pigmentation in their skin than most women do after the age of forty.

Heike: Do you think this gray hair trend will continue?
Deborah: No, I don’t think this trend is here to stay because the younger demographic is always changing. Younger women are always looking for the newest thing and the latest trend.

Should I Go Gray Or Skip It?

I wanted to know what other women in midlife going gray had to say about going gray naturally or with a little help, and here is what they shared:

“I find, in general, gray hair makes a woman look older. Unless she has spectacular grey hair or a funky haircut, I find it makes a woman look ‘dowdy.’ Personally, I have been dying my hair since I was 15 years old. I now have streaks to give more depth and richness to my brown hair. At almost 62 years old, I am in no way ready to let my hair go gray. I will continue to color my hair for as long as possible. I also wear makeup to bring out my best features. It depends on what you like. I do this for me and nobody else.” Carole Desmarteau

“A few years ago, I let my hair go natural and didn’t like my hair color. For years I let it go “natural” and still didn’t like it. I was hoping for lovely silver hair. Instead, it was just a “dishwater blonde.” So I dyed it again. I am now transitioning to my all-natural color. There seems to be more silver and white than earlier, and I’m happy about that. I think it’s easier to be part of the gray group when your gray is beautiful. Some women look older with gray hair, but I think that’s because of style.” Loretta Sayers Gavin

Taking The Leap Of Faith To Let My Hair Go Gray

After some deliberation, I wanted to go gray. I figured it was all or nothing.
So Debora explained that we could bleach some of my hair as white as possible and add some gray color to even things out. 5-hours later, with my head smoking from all the treatments, my hair was now partially platinum blonde. It was a fascinating look, for sure.

My hair grows fast, and after only four months, you can see the roots grow out, and guess what? I wasn’t as gray as I thought! Instead of the whole top of my head is gray, I only had gray around my temples. After that experiment, I left the rest of my gray to grow in, and instead of coloring my whole head, I now get a few highlights, so the color has a dimension but doesn’t mask my gray.

Three things to consider when going gray:

• Try out different approaches to going gray. My going platinum blonde was a shock, but in the end, I found the right solution.
• Talk to your hairstylist about the quality of your hair. Some women have kinky white hair that needs some treatments to look good.
• Gray hair gives your skin a very different tone, and the makeup you use may not complement your new hair.

I went gray and loved it. Why not go for it? You can look fantastic and fresh with your gray hair. The best part is no more salon hours and expensive treatments every other month.

Choosing to let one’s hair go naturally gray can be a very personal decision. Here are some reasons why some women might choose to embrace their gray hair:

1. Embracing Natural Beauty: Many women see going gray as a way to embrace their natural beauty and aging process. They reject the societal pressure to cover gray hair and instead celebrate it as part of their identity.
2. Avoiding Chemicals: Regular hair dyeing exposes the hair and scalp to various chemicals. Some people prefer to avoid these substances due to health concerns or because they can damage and weaken the hair over time.
3. Saving Time and Money: Coloring hair, especially professionally, can be costly and time-consuming. Allowing hair to go naturally gray can save significant time and money in the long term.
4. Fashion and Style Statement: Gray hair has become a fashion trend in recent years. Many women, including young ones, are dyeing their hair gray as a style statement. Those who are naturally going gray might decide to embrace this trend.
5. Self-Expression and Confidence: For some women, going gray is a form of self-expression, a statement of confidence and comfort in their own skin. It’s a personal choice that reflects their desire to be authentic and true to themselves.
6. Frustration with Constant Upkeep: Regular touch-ups to cover gray roots can become a frustrating routine. Some women choose to go gray to free themselves from this constant maintenance.

What you do with your hair is your choice, and you can’t go wrong with how you love your hair.