Most of us are so used to living in a stressful environment that we don’t even realize we are stressed. Stressed has become the new normal.

I was living in Washington, D.C. I see this daily, people stressed about the traffic, the weather, working too many hours, not having enough hours, not finishing their impossible daily task lists, and rarely having any time for themselves. So how do we even know we are stressed in a world of its normalcy, and how can we relieve it? I am sharing the most effective strategies to reduce stress instantly.

Today I had a client tell me that she is so stressed about being unable to eat healthily. She works 12 hours a day, doesn’t have time to go to the grocery store, and can’t even fathom cooking in the evening. Meal prep on the weekends is out because she only wants to chill out before preparing for the next week. She was stressed about not being able to eat healthily and didn’t know what to do about it.

The Most Effective Strategies to Relieve Stress Instantly

#1 STOP: How do we know we are stressed out?

We have to stop and assess our actual situation. Think of it as pumping the breaks and sitting still for a moment. Time to assess: Are we impatient with our loved ones, having trouble sleeping, focusing, and forgetting things and people’s names? And if so, WHY?

Telling ourselves that we can handle even more, do more, and multitask more will all create more stress. Also though some people pride themselves on putting more and more onto their plate, eventually, it will get too heavy and fall.

For instance, my client was already overworked and overwhelmed with other priorities that she couldn’t find a solution to the one thing she knew she wanted and needed to do to finally take care of herself – shop for and cook healthy food.

#2 LOOK: How to prioritize your day to relieve stress

Ask yourself: Do you HAVE to complete all these tasks in one day? Can you delegate some? Or can they wait another day or week? Prioritizing your tasks for the day or week is critical.

You don’t have to be perfect and complete everything at once. Nobody will think less of you if you are not perfect.

In my client’s case, I recommended using one of those food delivery services until her workload decreases and she has time to go grocery shopping. At first, she thought it was impossible because, as a mom, she had always cooked the meals in the past. But her daughter had left, and there was nobody else that she needed to provide for.

#3 LISTEN: What do your body and mind crave?

Listen to the signs your body sends you and schedule “me” time! It doesn’t have to be hours of walking in the woods, although that would be awesome. Simple breathing exercises, turning off the computer, and avoiding social media are a perfect start to simplify.

Listen to how you treat other people. I am sure that coming home barking orders doesn’t go over well with the family. Spend time with them, and make some memories to destress.

Notice the signs of stress and THEN do something about it.

My client realized she had a solution and didn’t need to stress over eating healthy. She could ask for help by using the food delivery service. This was an eye-opener for her, and this move gave her the freedom and confidence to manage her other tasks in her day. Asking for help can allow you to find other solutions to stressors you may not know existed.

3 Action Steps to Reduce Stress Instantly

#1 Remove yourself from a stressful situation: Yes, you can walk away and take time out. You don’t have to react immediately if you are at work and get multiple assignments dumped on you at once. Use the Stop, Look, and Listen strategy above.

#2 Go for a walk and breathe (no earbuds). Enjoy the peacefulness around you. This is another form of our stress reduction strategy and can be done anytime during the day. Allow time to digest what’s stressing you out and sort and get clarity on why.

#3 Say NO. Setting boundaries in your day is essential, and saying NO is important. Not only to protect your health but your relationships with the people around you. You don’t have to feel guilty because you said no; you must take care of yourself to serve others well.

Here are some strategies to help you say “no” effectively:

1. Be Clear and Firm: Be clear about your intentions. Avoid ambiguity and ensure your “no” is understood as a “no”.
2. Respectfully Assertive: You can be polite and respectful while saying “no”. It’s not necessary to be confrontational or aggressive.
3. Offer a Reason if Comfortable: If you’re comfortable, briefly explain why you’re saying “no”. This can make your response seem more reasonable. However, remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
4. Use “I” Statements: Using “I” statements, such as “I don’t have time” or “I can’t commit to this”, can be helpful in owning your responses and avoiding any blame or criticism.
5. Propose Alternatives: If possible and relevant, offer an alternative. This can show that you’re willing to help or participate in a different way.
6. Avoid Apologetic Language: Avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry, but…” Too much apologetic language can undermine your decision and potentially invite further persuasion.
7. Practice: It can be uncomfortable to say “no” at first, especially if you’re not used to doing so. Like any skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.
8. Delay Your Response: If you’re not ready to say “no” immediately, you can ask for some time to think about it.
9. Utilize Body Language: Along with verbal communication, your body language should also reflect your decision. Maintain eye contact and use a firm tone when saying “no.”
10. Consider Your Self-Care: Saying “no” can be a self-care act. Always consider your own mental and physical well-being when making decisions.

Not every day will be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be, but you CAN take steps to live healthier, feel better, and be less stressed today.

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