How to steal back your energy by looking amazing. Often I talk about food and exercise and how both relate to energy, but looking and feeling confident and sexy is equally as important. Looking at yourself and thinking, “Girl, you’re just looking awesome,” gives me a lot of energy. Let’s dive into how to feel confident and vibrant in midlife!

How To Feel Confident and Vibrant In Midlife

Let me explain where this started. I have been a studio owner and have worked in the fitness industry for a long time, close to 30 years. When you picture us as personal trainers or fitness entrepreneurs, you see us walking around in those super comfortable yoga clothes with a t-shirt over them and then a super comfortable jacket. Working in a pilates and yoga studio, I often walk around barefoot as well.

I love wearing this attire when I work with clients because I can move smoothly and be comfortable all day, but when you need to go out for a quick bite or to the grocery store, you always look like a “fitness person.” There’s nothing wrong with that because these kinds of clothes have become streetwear, and athleisure is now “on-trend.” You see it everywhere, and many companies are selling these clothes to be worn from the yoga studio to the coffee shop.

They can look super cute and make you feel good, but you know what? I needed a change after 30 years of living in those clothes, as comfortable as they were. I wanted to mix it up because I aspired to feel as adorable as my clients and friends looked in their cute blouses and dresses. I am sharing my 5 tips on how to feel confident and vibrant in midlife, and I am not a fashionista!

It all started with going gray…

First was embracing my gray hair. Recently I started letting my hair go gray. However, I still use some color and get it cut regularly. I like my partially gray hair; it doesn’t look old or outdated.

The next part was the clothes. There are a couple of problems with this. I don’t shop well. What does that mean? Number one, I hate to go to the mall and go shopping. Number two, I hate trying on clothes. The whole business of putting clothes on, taking them off, then another round of clothes. If you start sweating and things don’t fit correctly, you can’t find anybody to help you find a different size. I just hate it.

Another thing I don’t like is spending a lot of money on clothes. I have to admit that for years, I’ve shopped at Target. There’s nothing wrong with Target if that’s where your budget is at the moment, but I can spend more for myself, yet I have continually opted for ill-fitting summer dresses and blouses.
My next problem is that I don’t know what looks good on me. I looked back over the years and at how I dressed. At some point, I wore the same clothes as my daughter, and I looked way too young for me. Then I would dress the opposite way and look old and dowdy.

Start with one project at a time

Finally, my last problem is that I never felt like I found clothes that fit my age but also fit how old I feel. I’m 56; I feel young and energized and exercise regularly. I love my body but do not know how to dress it. I always go for the same striped shirt and jeans look, and then I pick between 2 dresses when I “dress up.” If you’ve seen me on Facebook, then you’ve probably seen my favorite outfits more than a few times.

It has gotten to such a point that even my daughter commented that I need to buy different shirts. At that point, I hadn’t thought about the type of clothes that I was drawn to. I love my striped shirts; they’re comfortable. I felt I needed that comfort. I don’t need something that ties me in at the waist, so I can’t breathe or lift my arms.

These are the problems I’ve had while overhauling my look, but I also have learned some tricks to help me overcome these insecurities.

Here are my five tips to feel confident and vibrant because you like the way you look.

5 Steps To Feel Confident and Vibrant In Midlife

#1 – Clean out your closet

When you look at your closet, you may have everything nicely organized or everything shoved in haphazardly. Everybody’s different, so I want you to look in your closet and pull out one stack. Look for clothes that are worn out, frayed, have a stain, or are just not flattering anymore.

Remove all of the clothes, shoes, purses, and belts that fit into this category. I am not saying throw everything away, but use a critical eye while going through your clothes. When I did this, I found that one of my favorite shirts had a big, ugly stain in the center. Of course, nobody tells you that there’s a stain on your shirt or that it’s starting to fray on the ends.

This process can take as long as you need it. I know that throwing away possessions can sometimes cause anxiety, so we want to do this nice and easy and make the process fun.

#2 – Reassess the pieces that are in good condition

Look at the articles that you have not worn that you think are still in excellent condition. You can take these pieces to a consignment store and sell them, or see if you can have them altered to fit so that you will wear them.

If you’re altering your clothes, weigh the price to see if it’s worth being adjusted or if it’s more cost-effective to sell or donate the item. For example, I recently rediscovered my wedding dress. You typically wear your wedding dress once and then never again. I came across the idea on Pinterest where a woman altered her wedding dress for a Halloween party. This may not be for everybody, but it could be a fun way to reuse a usually single-use dress.

#3 – Use Pinterest for ideas

An excellent source of clothing inspiration for me has been Pinterest. If you don’t know what Pinterest is, it’s a virtual picture board where you can add photos about literally everything – hairstyles, outfits, recipes. One of my boards is “Midlife Fashion.” On this board, I save all the pictures of outfits I come across that I could wear. When I am going shopping, I will first go to my Pinterest board to focus on precisely what I want, like a cute jacket. I then compare the shop based on what I have already Pinned.

#4 – Online shopping

Online shopping has been a saving grace for me. I don’t have to go to the store and can still get cute clothes. I’ve also used an online service that selects clothes for you every month and then sends them to your door.

So how does that work? Well, I went with a service through Nordstrom that matched me with a clothing consultant. I will go to her and say, “Hey, I want a dress for spring.” She will then discuss with you online what exactly you are looking for – style, colors, fabrics. Then you get a board of options and can say precisely what you do and do not like. In my most recent box, I got 15 pieces – it was everything from pullovers to jeans to boots.

Some things were not my style, but three of those pieces I liked and ended up keeping. Three may not sound like a lot, but when I usually go shopping, it’s hard for me to even come home with one piece.

Having someone else pick your clothes can be a matter of trial and error. However, once you have someone who understands your style, then these tools can be a great alternative to shopping. It started me off in a different direction, and now I am looking at things that I would never think to buy because I thought they were “too edgy” or “too different” from the style that I currently have.

#5 – Go shopping with a friend

Shop with a friend whose style you like, but also someone who can help you push your boundaries of what you wear without dressing you up as her. Then you can have a fabulous girl’s afternoon, whether shopping in person or online, and maybe even get some new clothes out of it.

Now when I look in the mirror, I like the way I look. I feel spunky; I feel sexy. I have even now been branching out without my consultant and trying new styles on my own. Sometimes I will still consult my husband or daughter about a specific piece that I am not 100% sold on, but they’re just reassuring me what I have already developed.

I am so excited about my new wardrobe, so I hope that you’ve found some inspiration in my Kickstarter tips, and don’t shy away from trying something new.